I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
