He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
