My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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