I can text with my tongue
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize