why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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