Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
