Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
