Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
