I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
