can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
