WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
