As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
