Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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