At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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