I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
