my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
