she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
