Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
