Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just cropdusted the office
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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