weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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