What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
