Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
