Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
