I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
