i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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