Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
