Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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