Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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