i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
