sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize