I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I need water and some morals
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
