dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
