Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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