Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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