I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
