Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
