my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
