Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
