found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
