Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
