Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
