You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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