Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize