Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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