Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
