I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
