As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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