Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
