she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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