I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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