Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
