I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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