i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
