Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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