$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
