Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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