Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
