oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize