he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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