He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Four minutes until I can fart!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
