so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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