Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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