How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
