Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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