my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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