Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
