i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
