It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
