My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
