thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize