He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
