when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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